Dealing with it

I read an article online yesterday about a lady who has never quite come to terms with not having had another child. Doesn't seem like a big deal but to her it is. Her narrative is pretty emotional. Got me thinking about all the things I've not come to terms with yet....starting with being away from India, from my parents.

It's like a big raw wound. Time covers it up with scabs and it seems like it's healing but then I visit them or they visit me and voila it opens up again. Painful as hell. And I question my self, what the hell am I doing in this city when I don't want to be here. at. all? And when I fall sick or feel low about other things, this joins in with the other hurts and makes it all into one giant snowball of a hurt.

I dont know how to deal with it. I wish I did. All I know is when I first left home to fly away, I didn't know it was going to be forever.