Monday, August 28, 2006


One advantage of reflecting internally endlessly or being distracted by the outside world - You conveniently ignore the things that need focus: the immediate crises and the dangers outside.

A planet facing environmental disaster and entire governments that do nothing about it.

A planet ridden with conflict and violence in every corner of the world.

Increasing poverty, homelessness, disease and sorrow in all parts of the world.

Increasing corruption and callousness among politicians who cannot see beyond the tip of their nose or the balance in their bank account.

Oh yeah... the world is falling apart around me! What can I do?

Try to make a difference in EVERY way I can.


Give some token donation to organizations who claim to make a difference and then feel good about having saved the planet.


Get drunk on my own little life and its details and forget the planet!

I know what I am going to do! Do you?


In an attempt to try something different, I've decided to move some of my posts from here to another blog. Of course, in the end it does not matter much. The frog still stays in the well, regardless of its thoughts.

I am pretty excited about the house, although we've not unpacked and organized it as yet. I am also slightly nervous about the whole mortgage thing and changing my work hours thing. Why do I feel so guilty about trying to do what I want to do? Because this is pretty close to a free lunch and as we all know there is no such thing, is there?

Anyway I'll take heart from an excerpt from Preethi Nair that I've pasted below. Not very poetic or inspiring at first sight, but read it and you'll see why I liked it!

'I will also tell you another thing about the magic of hopes and dreams: at any point along a journey, the day you decide to take back responsibility for your actions and put your trust and faith not in fear but back in yourself, those hopes and dreams will come flooding back and the belief and the energy that charges them will take them forward to a place that is home.'

Friday, August 25, 2006


"Shy people live too much in their heads, obsessed with the past, the future, or both. A shy person in conversation is not apt to think about what is being said at the moment, but about how past conversations have initially gone well and then deteriorated--just as the current one threatens to. Says Zimbardo: "These are people who cannot enjoy that moment because everything is packaged in worries from the past--a Smithsonian archive of all the bad--that restructure the present."

Source: An article from Psychology Today, Dec 2004

That completely explains me and all my neurotic internalizing, doesn't it? I am shy!! Like I didn't know that?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

What this woman really wants

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

My husband suddenly mentioned this quote today during our evening walk, and since it tied up with things I've been thinking about recently, I decided to include it in this post.

What do I really want? Is it really truly what I wrote a couple of posts ago, with the SFO et al?
Or was that just a list that would look good on paper/screen and make me appear noble in front of family and friends? 'Oh she wants to have her own business! How adorable!'
Well, obviously having my own business wouldn't hurt and being in SFO wouldn't hurt either, considering its one of my all time favorite places.

But in that burning deep way that happens when you really want something, what do I want?

1.) To write a book - a good read and get it published
2.) To somehow integrate more writing into my career
3.) To lose like a million pounds and get my health back on track

I am trying a different way of eating for life, but so far Iam pretty impatient for it to start working (and it hasn't, at least not in a big way yet).

As for the other goals, I am working on them. I do wish I had the luxury of having more time to devote to them though.

This Emerson is a pretty cool person. There are tons of his quotes floating around online, but here are a couple more I liked:

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”

(I've always beleived this!!)

“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.”

(How true!!!)

Friday, August 04, 2006


Just one of those days... When I seem to question everything about my life, but don't really have the courage or willpower to change anything. Something is wrong for sure - internally or externally is the question. I really wish there was someone I could talk about it with, but everyone has their own lives to question and be busy with..

Its funny that the person I consider my dearest friend now talks only on 3 occasions with me: My birthday, her birthday and New Year. My life is changing and she doesn't have a clue, and likewise I've no idea whats happening with her anymore. It stems from her basic belief that her life is too crazy and that she doesn't have time to keep in touch with people. What she doesn't realize is that life is ALWAYS crazy and that time must be made..

My posts do seem more angst ridden as time goes by. Its strange that when I blogged as Suchangst, my posts were anything but angsty (well, except for the initial few) and now all I can write is this stuff...

And it seems like all I can read without getting depressed is light fluffy chick-lit stuff, to escape from my own reality and briefly occupy someone else wonderful life where everything falls neatly in place. I always did like fantasy and sci-fi stuff, but at least I read something that challenged my mind and imagination. Now, I am just dumbing down the whole experience, since I cannot be bothered to make the effort to even imagine!

It must be a common problem though. Why else would these books be written and published and sold in millions?