Friday, August 04, 2006


Just one of those days... When I seem to question everything about my life, but don't really have the courage or willpower to change anything. Something is wrong for sure - internally or externally is the question. I really wish there was someone I could talk about it with, but everyone has their own lives to question and be busy with..

Its funny that the person I consider my dearest friend now talks only on 3 occasions with me: My birthday, her birthday and New Year. My life is changing and she doesn't have a clue, and likewise I've no idea whats happening with her anymore. It stems from her basic belief that her life is too crazy and that she doesn't have time to keep in touch with people. What she doesn't realize is that life is ALWAYS crazy and that time must be made..

My posts do seem more angst ridden as time goes by. Its strange that when I blogged as Suchangst, my posts were anything but angsty (well, except for the initial few) and now all I can write is this stuff...

And it seems like all I can read without getting depressed is light fluffy chick-lit stuff, to escape from my own reality and briefly occupy someone else wonderful life where everything falls neatly in place. I always did like fantasy and sci-fi stuff, but at least I read something that challenged my mind and imagination. Now, I am just dumbing down the whole experience, since I cannot be bothered to make the effort to even imagine!

It must be a common problem though. Why else would these books be written and published and sold in millions?

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