Nothing to write about

Or to boast about.
Been okay with keeping on time except for Friday when I canceled going somewhere because I was running an hour late. I was late because of poor time management and not due to any unforeseen circumstances. So it was bad. Other than that though, I've been okay.
Also doing okay on calling up. There are days when I don't call because I am too tired and I compensate for it the next day. It has been good talking and catching up.
I am currently reading Faulkner Fox's book 'Dispatches from a not so perfect life'. I might write more on it after I read it fully. It has been very thought provoking and has made me think and question things about myself and my life. Is that good or bad? Dunno!
I downloaded a trial version of Photoshop Elements and have been having immense fun playing with it. I love the colors and the brush effects and all that. Maybe I should take up painting again? Who has the time though? I am so behind on work and everything else.

Same pic, another take

Playing with an old pic

Thought the end result looked interesting.

Mid week updates

Monday: Late by 10 minutes - to Gymboree, to pick up my husband and to the gym
Tuesday: On time, to storytime at the library and to pick up my husband in the evening.
Wednesday: On time to Gymboree and to the gym.
Doing good on calling up people, but I did the easy ones so far. There are still some easy ones left. It will get interesting next week or so when I start calling people I've not talked to in years...

Moving on to other things, remember my pet peeve about women judging others on their choices? It is especially so when it comes to motherhood. There are so many charged topics like cosleeping, solid foods, preschool, TV watching, swimming classes and so it goes on. For example if you're breastfeeding you can feel smug about doing it and attack the others for depriving their kids of immunity and the potential for higher intelligence. If you're not breastfeeding you can exchange notes on those weirdos who breastfeed for years and years and years. They can't be normal can they? Can they?

There are so many choices when it comes to each issue and there are always women who feel passionately about them one way or another. Which is okay. I feel strongly about certain things too. What is not okay is getting all judgmental about other people's choices and attacking them for it. Why does that happen though? I read this article yesterday by Faulkner Fox and I was really taken with it. I've placed a hold for her book at the library and am looking forward to the read.

Another challenge

Concurrently with my ongoing challenge of being on time, I am going to add another one. I am going to call up 30 different friends or relatives over the next 30 days. I've been terrible at keeping in touch and could use this as a motivation. Will post my progress on this on a weekly basis..

Yeah!

Made it on time. Left at 11:00 am sharp, thanks to a very supportive husband who offered to take care of preparing Kuttipa's lunch. Reached 17th Av at 11:20am. Spent 5 minutes circling around trying to find parking. 11:25 am, I'd paid at the meter and I was there at the salon to meet my friend at 11:30 am. She however showed up at 11:50 am. Not a surprise because I am usually late and I keep her waiting. So I got a chance to see how it is like on the other side - to be the waitee.
Could have maybe been a bit better about returning home earlier though.

Still, progress has been made. I am happy! No appointments tomorrow to be kept. The next one is at Gymboree on Monday morning at 9:15am. Last time, I was fifteen minutes late (for a 45 mintue class). Hope I do better this time.

My 'late' habit

I am not a smoker. Nor am I an alcoholic or a gambler or a drug addict or a swinger. Yet I have vices that are just as deadly although considerably more boring. Like what? Well, I don't exercise enough or eat healthy or...there is a big list here you know and I aint gonna type it all in.

One thing that has irked me a lot in recent times is my seeming inability to get anywhere and I mean ANYWHERE on time. Its nothing new. I've been that way for as long as I remember. I used to miss my school bus almost every day when I was young, till my father decided to start urging me everyday. Have you packed your bag? Is everything there? Are you dressed for school? Why don't you wear your shoes and then read your book? If you're ready, why don't you leave right now when there is still 5 minutes to spare?

With him urging me, I made it on time more often but then one day I had to leave home and go to college. I was back to my late ways again. Classes started at 8:30am and my department was a good 20 minute walk away from my hostel. At 8:15 am though, I'd still be in the mess, eating breakfast. And then at 8:20 I'd make a mad dash to my department and arrive at 8:35 am or 8:40 am out of breath and slightly sheepish. On some days one of my seniors with a bike would take pity on me and offer me a ride and then I'd be on time. Then I got a bike. Did that change anything? Nope, what happened was I started leaving at 8:25 am or even 8:30 am and was still late!

Then I came to the US for grad school and of course I was late there too. My department was located down the hill downtown and I lived up the hill, near the main campus. A good 20 minute walk here too. Most mornings when I had a class, you could see me running down the hill maniacally desperately trying to make it on time. Some days a kindly bus driver would stop on seeing me even though there was no stop there and give me a (free) ride downtown. Then I got an advisor who threw tantrums when any of us were late. That made me behave for a while. Only where he was concerned though. Other times, I was still late.

My friend had a theory that people were late only when they hated being somewhere. If you're looking forward to being somewhere and doing something, you wouldn't be late would you? It made a lot of sense and made me question myself and my motives. In the end though, it didn't make a difference. I was late everywhere regardless of whether I wanted to be there or not. It could be a meeting at work or a dinner at someones house.

Needless to say I was late every morning at my jobs too. My job in the US and my job here in Calgary. Not a whole lot late, but typically 5 or 10 minutes and I always made up for it in the evenings.

So what has changed? Why am I suddenly irked by my lifelong vice? Because I've taken it to a new dimension after Kuttipa's birth. I could dash out the door previously and still make it within 5 or 10 minutes of the original time. Now dashing out the door is impossible. I've to make sure his sippy cup is packed and there is a snack packed just in case and that he has socks on and perhaps a jacket if needed. I need to plan well in advance and get my act together if I need to be on time anywhere. But I am not doing that. I am still behaving like I can dash out the door 5 minutes before the appointment. What's the result? I am REALLY late - 1/2 hour or sometimes an hour late. Late to doctor appointments, late to library classes, late to meet friends, late late late everywhere, everytime.

A couple of days ago I stumbled onto this post by Steve Pavlina. I'd never heard of this guy before but am starting to go through his site. I like his writing style - its sensible yet inspiring. At least the stuff I've read thus far anyway. So inspired by this article, I've decided to do a 30 day challenge of being on time. It actually started today but today went bad. I was supposed to meet a friend at an indoor play area at 2:00pm. It was a 25 minute drive and I left home at 1:30 even though I intended to leave at 1:15pm. Construction delays and some wrong directions from google maps set me back and I reached at 2:15pm. I would have been on time had I left at 1:15 like I intended. But there are still 29 days left. I am meeting a friend at 11:30am tomorrow. Let's see how that goes...I'll write again tomorrow night.

I've been beating myself up for missing the deadline to the Vibe 98.5 Cute kid contest. Sure, there are like 2400 kids entered in it but still Kuttipa would have had a chance, right? I am not sure which photo I'd have entered though. Probably the one below, taken a few months ago when it was still summer.

Plum yum rummm....

Christmas didn't mean much to me when I was growing up. It wasn't as flashily celebrated (back then) as Deepavali or Pongal or even New Year day. The only thing I associated with it were the colourful illuminated stars displayed on the facades of people's houses. We had two Christian neighbors for a while and every time I passed by their house, I'd stop and admire the stars. The other thing associated with Christmas was cake, or more specifically plum cake. My father's friend gifted us a large plum cake each year at and it was soooo good!

My attempts at finding good plum cake here in North America have been unsuccessful. Every year I succumb to the supermarket displays of fruitcake and end up buying a package and then being quite disappointed with it. This year was no exception. So I wondered if it was maybe a good idea to make it myself if the recipe was easy enough. A search for fruit cake recipes yields thousands of results and many of them are from the site cooks.com. In particular though, I LOVED this recipe.
http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1619,159163-255200,00.html
You won't have any fruitcake at the end of it, but hey you'll be so drunk, you won't notice! Yeah!

Ha, another Monday!

So soon too. This Monday wasn't bad though. Busy but not bad. Both Kuttipa and I had a cold most of last week. I know I am almost over it and I hope Kuttipa is almost over it too. He seems to have a bit of a sore throat or something. Or maybe it's just general fussiness in eating. I wish I knew exactly what was going on with him sometimes when he cries. I know that a lot of moms say they are pretty good at reading the cues but somehow I am not there yet. Maybe its my reduced brain power. I am never quite sure when he cries. Is he sleepy? Did he hit himself? Is he not feeling well? Is he sleepy? Is he throwing a tantrum because he wants something? Does he not like whatever it is that I am trying to feed him?

My friend will be delivering her baby soon - today or tomorrow. Hope all goes well for her.

When you're pregnant your greatest worry is getting the baby out. It's only when you have the baby that you begin to realize that your worries are just beginning. A lifetime of worries, big and small. No one ever told me that you have to start being mentally strong when you become a parent. Even if they did, it wouldn't have meant much. Just words. There is so much advice everyone gives you when you're pregnant but mostly you learn it all first hand before it sinks in (and then you advise others ;-)). So I wouldn't have taken it seriously if someone had warned me that I'd need mental strength. But its true! If you broke down at the slightest of worries, you'd be a nervous wreck in a week. But again, you have to somehow understand when to worry and when not to. I wish I knew how that worked!

Yes, we can!

The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in his Heaven -
All's right with the world!

-Robert Browning

Yes, I know that Obama is not a superhero. He cannot work miracles. I am still celebrating though! And so should you!

Just another **** Monday

And I am not even working anymore...So I've no reason to complain about Mondays really. And coming to think of it, my grumpiness has nothing to do with it being Monday today. I am grumpy because - well so many reasons really, petty stuff all of them. Sure sign that I need to be having more fun with my life. If you're busy having fun, there is no time to be grumpy, is there?

Today I became part of the herd of moms who enroll their children in Gymboree paying $$$. Why? Because I truly think Kuttipa needs to have more interaction and needs more stimulation beyond what I can provide for him at home. So Gymboree we went and joined. It seems pretty good too. I was impressed with their obstacle course and toys and everything. The instructor seemed pretty fake though and that would be the only thing I wish I could change. I also attend the free programs at the library. They don't have colorful toys there but the instructors are very warm and genuine. Oh well, can't have it all.

So its D day tomorrow - US elections. I was getting worked up about it and feeling resentful that I had no control over the results. But then really, even if Obama wins, are miracles going to happen? Oh don't mind me. I am just cynical and grumpy today. If there is some US citizen who does stumble upon my blog today, I would still encourage you to go and vote tomorrow.

Trick or treat

Kuttipa went trick or treating today - his first. Or should I say, I took him trick or treating? It's not as if Kuttipa walked out the door bag in hand and went knocking on other people's doors asking for candy. In a couple of years he might.

We also went to Market mall today for their Maskoween event. I was there for an hour and a half and spent most of my time waiting in line for a photo at the pumpkin patch. The end result wasn't that impressive, despite the cuteness of the subject.

It was nice looking at all the interesting costumes though. Lots of princesses, bats, pumpkins, superheros and such. There was even a kid dressed as a toothbrush. Pretty unique, right?

Happy Deepavali

Feeling very wistful since I just called home to wish my parents in India. My uncle and aunt from Bangalore have joined them and they all seemed to be having a good time. I could hear fireworks in the background. My mother described the scrumptious meal they had the night before and doubtless there will be more tasty treats today. Everyone sounded so happy! I wish I could be there enjoying it all, soaking up the festive atmosphere instead of here, writing about it in a few minutes snatched between Kuttipa's dinnertime and bedtime. Oh well, hopefully next year...

I called up a cousin today and we took a joint trip down memory lane to the Deepavali of our childhoods. Growing up as an only child, I really looked forward to Deepavali when all of us could meet up. We played silly games, sang silly songs and had so much fun!!

The festival of lights is here...
Let's sing! Let's dance!
Let's celebrate joyfully!

Lucky you! Lucky me!

I've always considered myself medium-lucky. I don't typically win lotteries or lucky draws or prizes in casinos. On the other hand, I've got an awesome kid, an amazing husband and things like that. I was lucky to be born where I was born instead of some war torn, famine ridden part of the planet. I was lucky to have parents that loved me and raised me responsibly instead of being potheads or something. I am lucky to have the luxury of typing this blog now instead of worrying about shelter and food tonight.

Yeah, so I didn't win the scratch n win thing at Safeway. So what?

I am fascinated by people who win those things though. Some people tend to win such things more often than others do... or it seems to me. Some people also tend to suffer misfortunes in life more often than others. No matter how much we like to think we're in control of our lives and destinies, I think luck has a HUGE part to play in this. A control freak might wonder if you can control your luck! Fans of 'The Secret' will probably say yes. The ever helpful google turned up 8,270,000 links when I searched for 'How to be lucky'. Much as I like wasting time, I didn't have the patience to check them all out, but here is an article I found interesting.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2622567.stm

Burn her! Burn her!

In these times of hate mongering by Palin, this classic video from Monty Python takes on a new relevance...

He walked!

Since Saturday, Kuttipa has been walking a few steps at a time. I am so thrilled!!!

How to lose friends and alienate people

I've not seen this movie yet but would like to. Catchy title. 'Could apply to you', my husband said. Why? Because of my comments on the LLL in my previous post. But, I wasn't being sarcastic! Really, I truly, sincerely believe that the LLL is populated with noble selfless wonderful ladies. They've given me tons and tons of help and support when I needed it the most and I enjoy attending their meetings. I really wouldn't dream of being sarcastic about them. Seriously.

'You still have a knack of saying the wrong things to the wrong people' my hubby says. Maybe he has a point. Maybe I do antagonize people. Even my own cousin thinks I am a terrible person. I mean I spoke with her a few days ago and here is snippet of our conversation.

She: How is the baby doing?
Me: Great! He turned a year old a couple of days ago.
She: Wow! Convey my kisses and birthday wishes to him.
Me: Sure will.
She: So, how did you celebrate?
Me: Nothing much. I baked a cake and we went to the temple in the evening.
She: That's nice
Me: Yeah. We're planning on performing the Aayush Homam on the 23rd. And then on the 25th, we're having a party.
She: (very astonished) A party??? You have friends???

Now, I happen to know that she is in general a sweet person without a sarcastic bone in her body. She seemed genuinely surprised that I would have friends. So what can this mean? Of course, it just confirms that I am a terrible person! If I weren't a terrible person, would I posting this conversation here at all? ;-)

Chief nourisher in life's feast

Shakespeare certainly knew what he was talking about when he referred to sleep that way. Sleep nourishes you and helps you enjoy your wakeful hours so much better! I've wanted to write about sleep for a while now - Our lack of it, my growing obsession with it and my failed attempts to impose some kind of schedule on Kuttipa.

Before I launch into my sleep diatribe though, let me tell you about something cute that Kuttipa did recently. We were at the library for a Mother Goose story and rhyme session for babies recently. Midway during the program they serve snacks to the babies - this time it was Cheerios in a small paper cup, the kind you drink water from. As soon as Kuttipa sees the cup he opens his mouth and tips his head back and tries to drink from it. So whats the big deal? I actually thought it was pretty smart of him - he associated a cup with drinking. I know....I know...just a mother's pride in silly little things - but I cant help feeling happy when I notice things like that.

Now onto sleep. I happened to see a bit of Oprah the other day and the doc there was talking about how pregnancy shrinks a woman's brain by about 9% (ouch!). The good news is that it grows post delivery back to its original size but there are two things to do to enable that growth - eat plenty of Omega 3s and sleep a lot. Apparently the growth hormone is secreted in sleep and so being sleep deprived is going to kind of fry your brain. Oh, so that explains it all! But how are you supposed to sleep with a newborn on your hands? No one expects you to. But by the time your baby is 6 months old, they expect you to start catching up on those Zzzz s.

Excuse me, but I have a one year old baby here who clearly missed the bulletin sent out about sleeping through the night at 6 months. He wakes up every couple of hours - sometimes every hour and even worse, at times will stay awake for a couple of hours sometime in the night.

Stop whining! The problem is the cosleeping and breastfeeding. Stop both. Wean him and move him to his own crib in his own room. Sure he'll cry up a storm initially but watch how fast he learns to sleep on his own. Both of you will be feeling much better. This is advice I get constantly from friends, from the public health nurses and from even random people on the street.

Hmm.. Tempting. Tempting. Especially since I see all the non-nursing independently sleeping babies around his age sleep 10 or 11 hours straight and also take 2 hour naps at daytime. But I chose this lifestyle for a reason didn't I? Besides, am I strong enough to watch him cry for hours on end? Erm...maybe not...('Sucker!' my friends hiss)

So whats a co-sleeping breastfeeding mother to do? Why don't you night wean him, my husband asks. What a great idea! I think I'll ask for tips at the next LLL meeting. And so I do. They all look a bit shocked. "How old is your baby again?" one lady asks. Another says "It seems a bit early to be night weaning. The optimal age is 22 months." TWENTY TWO months? Clearly LLL is filled with stalwarts of selflessness who have no trouble waking every half hour if needed. But I am clearly not one of them.

Frenzied googling on the subject yielded a very promising link.
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp
Dr.Gordon, I've not heard of you before but you give me such hope with your words. So I've decided to give this nightweaning a try. Wish me luck and then some more!

Remembering the details

This time last year, I was in my final stages of labour. The nurses and doctors were scrambling to get ready since I'd come to the hospital almost ready to push the baby out...Well, not almost but then they did make me wait for an hour in the corridor since all the rooms were full. I was practically passing out from the pain but paradoxically the pain also kept me conscious. I was screaming my lungs out after having put up with it all quietly for more than 10 hours. At that stage I was beyond caring. I didn't care if my screaming annoyed anyone; I didn't care how it would appear; I didn't care if I could be heard beyond the hospital. I just screamed because it felt good to scream.

And then suddenly - very suddenly, it was all over. The doctor plopped the sticky slimy slippery baby atop my tummy. I know this is supposed to be a beautiful moment, the happiest moment ever and all that - but really I just felt strange and disconnected. If I could have talked I'd have probably said 'What's this?'. I was too weak to talk and totally out of things. Someone - a doctor or nurse whisked the baby away to be cleaned and examined. I didn't take an epidural or drugs (by choice) but I was still feeling distant and foggy (I was losing blood). I heard Kuttipa crying and crying and suddenly quietening down as soon as my husband spoke to him. And so for the next hour my husband kept talking to him while the doctors were bustling around me. Things started looking up after we left the delivery room and were moved to a recovery room. The nurses were awesome and very supportive. My husband and my parents were there. Kuttipa was right with me, asleep on my chest and I savoured the delight of becoming a mother.

A year later I can look back and say this has been a crazy year, a happy year, a beautiful year - what a trip! And my darling babe, my precious one, my love, my life, my dearest kuttipa, happy birthday to you! Wishing you health and happiness and lots and lots of birthdays!