before sleep musings

Found myself at the zoo again today, this time meeting up with some of the other moms from my prenatal class of a year ago. I last saw most of them in March and how the babies have grown!

Nothing much to write of other than we had a good time. Kuttipa looked at the Hippos at close quarters. He also seemed interested in the wild hogs. One of the ladies is pregnant again. I am a tad envious of her and also amazed at how she is willing to go through all of this again so soon! I would like at least a month or two of good sleep before I even consider going this route again. Why am I envious then? Because its actually a pretty cool feeling to be pregnant. Because in a logical way it makes sense to have the babies spaced close so that you're done with the child rearing in a few years and can resume some kind of a career. But logic is mostly a matter of convenience - you take whatever argument suits you better. If I am tired and zonked out (which I already am even with only one kid) it wont be fair to either baby, will it?

Finger foods

It was about a week ago that Kuttipa was taking cheerios to his mouth but not knowing that he should release them there. So he ended up with messy fingers from clutching onto soggy bits of Cheerios. All of a sudden for the past few days he has been releasing things into his mouth like a pro - looking nonchalant, if he had always done it. Unfortunately the 'things' released into his mouth also include non-food items like an apple seed and God knows what else...

I now need to actually start cleaning the house! :-(

At the zoo!

The previous post made me want to go check out Simon and Garfunkel's song. I found a version at Youtube.

'It's all happening at the zoo'

It certainly seems like it, judging by the crowds there. Last days of summer before school starts I guess! We went there because after hours of endlessly planning our weekend and discussing places to go, we somehow landed up at the zoo.

Seems to happen every weekend - not going to zoo I mean, but endlessly planning and doing something completely different in the end. For a month now, we've been planning to go to a lakeside beach before the summer is over and things turn cold. Possible places included Lake Minnewanka (Banff) and Gull Lake (North of Red Deer) among other things. Somehow we've just never managed to get there yet. And the leaves are already turning yellow in some places!

Take for example what happened last weekend:

Me: We've to go somewhere today! Somewhere!
Hubby: How about swimming at Cardel Place?
Me (scoffing): You want to waste a fine summer day in an indoor pool?
Hubby: Okay, where do you want to go?
Me: I don't know. You decide!
Hubby: How about Gull Lake? I've heard it's really nice.
Me: What? Thats 2 hours from here! Let me find a place closer to home.
So I browse for an hour or two interspersed with feeding kuttipa and things like that. There may also have been a game or two of Bubblewords that happened in this time.

Me: So, looks like there is a lake in Strathmore called Eagle Lake and also a lake in Chestermere. Both look kind of closer than Gull lake.
Hubby: Did you read any reviews?
Me: Sort of. Someone somewhere has recommended it on 'Yahoo Answers'.
Hubby: Let me check them out.
So he browses for a while looking at reviews and playing the occasional game of Bubblewords. This takes somewhere between 15 minutes and half an hour.

Hubby: Both lakes have gotten bad reviews.
Me: Well, there are always going to be people who have something bad to say about everything!
Hubby: Yeah, but why drive to a dirty lake?
Me: Eagle Lake's website says there have been no recorded cases of swimmer's itch. Isn't that enough? And look, apparently there are all kinds of exotic birds that come there.
Hubby: Birds? I thought you wanted a lakeside beach...
Me: Well....I just want to go somewhere...
By now Kuttipa is making impatient noises the kind that means he will become cranky and sleepy in a while. We also realize that its around 3:00pm which means there are only a couple of hours to work with before his evening dinner and bedtime routine begin (more on that in another post). So we decide to go to the zoo and hastily pack up - snacks and a sippy cup for Kuttipa, water for us. We get in the car and head towards the zoo.

Me: Do you really want to go to the zoo?
Hubby: What now? We're almost there! Why do you keep changing your mind?
Me: I think it might be nicer to take a walk in the Inglewood sanctuary. Do you remember the place? It was along the river and so pleasant.
Hubby: Okay, whatever you say! (Kind of grumpy at my vacillations though)
Moments later, we arrive at a park. Its NOT Inglewood sanctuary. Clearly we took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up there. But there are tall trees and green grass and lots of people on picnic benches grilling burgers and the river glistens somewhere close by. It all seems very pleasant, very inviting...

Me:(reading sign aloud) Pearce Estates Park.
Hubby: We're not in Inglewood. Are you very particular on going there?
Me: I guess we could walk around a little and see how this place is.


And so we had a very good walk at Pearce Estate Park. The pathways were nice enough for a stroller. We saw huge pelicans at the weir. The weather was good. Turned out to be a very happy accident! The end. :-)

Is the grass greener either side?

Its Friday again! Another week gone amidst diapers, baby cereal and facebook bubble words. Oh, but I did read a book - a very good one. So thats a plus for this week! What was the book? 'The other mother' by Gwendolyn Gross.


It was a very intense and insightful book and I really enjoyed reading it. The book is narrated alternately between Thea a stay-at-home-mom and Amanda a career woman mom. Both feel superior to the other for their own choices and both are also jealous of the other for the things they cannot have. Thea envies Amanda her freedom away from the house and her being able to have a self that wasn't only mother. Amanda on the other hand feels perpetually guilty for being away from her baby and hiring someone else to do the mothering.

I can empathize with both sides. There are days when I just want to run away; When I envy my husband being able to go off and work and be part of a different universe; When the list of chores seem repetitive and dull and overwhelming; When Kuttipa's constant struggle to sleep or eat gets under my skin and I want to scream and swear.

And then there are times when I wonder if I can bear to stay away from Kuttipa; to give him away to a daycare provider or a nanny and walk away. I just returned to the computer after unsuccessfully trying to extend Kuttipa's nap. All the while that I was trying to put him back to sleep, Kuttipa grinned at me partly adoringly and partly mischievously as if daring me to try to make him sleep again. He grabbed my hair, stroked my cheeks, grabbed my nose and was generally being the baby that he is! Can I stand the thought that he might look equally adoringly at a nanny who came instead of me? Of course not! Would the nanny even try rocking him to sleep? Would she worry about what he ate and what he didn't? Maybe she would, but I don't want to take a chance.

Which is why I stay at home.

Monday evening post

Kuttipa is crawling - finally! He has been trying to do this for at least 4 months now and I thought he would graduate to standing and walking w/o ever crawling. Especially since he has been standing for a couple of weeks now and will even walk a few steps if you hold both hands and encourage him slowly.

And then suddenly two days ago, he crawled. Not a very coordinated crawl but nonetheless a crawl. In his frenzy to discover what the multicoloured rattling box in my hand was, he crawled towards it before he or I knew what was happening. And then today again he did it- multiple times for short stretches. So now when his grandparents/our friends/ random people ask me if he is crawling, I can finally say 'Yes, he does.' Like when people kept asking if he had teeth and suddenly in the past month he sprouted not one, not two but five teeth.

Is it such a big deal? It is and it isn't. I am happy for his newfound mobility and also terrified about the new dangers he will now get into. I am also happy to temporarily assuage the fears of others - especially over-anxious grandparents. But we all know how temporary that is! After too short a time they'll all be asking "Is he walking yet?", "Is he talking?", "Is he planning to go to college?". It never ends.

I read a very good article about control and our thirst for it. Very thought provoking and moving!
Check it out.

Another year older

What have I to show for it? A gorgeous kid brimming with life and energy, thats what.

Haven't blogged for a while mainly because I was again wondering about the tone and content of this blog. Its so random! No wonder no one reads it. On the other hand, do I want anyone to read it? If so, for the past few posts I was starting to see a consistent theme of Kuttipa. Well that's a no-brainer! If my life is centered around him obviously my blog will too. I wonder if I should convert this to a mommy blog and then start visiting a ton of other mommy blogs and try to stay in some kind of loop...

Nah, too much effort! Otoh, there is so much to be gained if only I made the effort. New friendships, new insights...

Saw 'The Dark Knight' last weekend. What an amazing movie! Thoroughly enjoyed it. And that's my random non-Kuttipa related event of the week. Good bye.