Saturday, January 14, 2017


Happy Pongal.

I will eventually get around to making it sometime today. I made holige yesterday for the first time and it turned out pretty well.

My mind is cluttered and I need to write to try for some clarity.

I don't feel enough. I really don't. I don't feel enough of a daughter (except as a financial parasite) because what am I doing for my parents really? Zilch. I don't feel enough of a mother because I don't even know what my kids need or are capable of or how they need to be encouraged. I don't feel enough of a wife because my husband seems pretty self sufficient. If there were no kids, what value would I add to this relationship? Do I define myself by my relationships? Yes. I don't know if that's good or bad, but that's what it is.

Feeling low today. Hopefully more writing (here and in a private journal) will help.