Kuttipa climbed up on the sofa for the very first time yesterday. He had some help since he used my leg as a step stool. Still, it's a first and so it has been noted. He also spent an hour at a dayhome today - another first. It went reasonably well although I felt guilty and terrible as if I'd abandoned him. The poor lambkin! Not sure when I am going to do it again...

I think I need to organize my time more effectively and work around his schedule better. Of course he could be sleeping better but the reality is that he is not. Instead of perenially lamenting about it maybe I should just accept it and move on...and maybe then I'll actually get some work done.

Speaking of laments, I was listening to the radio recently and I heard some lady lament about how she was not told about the credit card policies when she signed up for it and now she was in deep debt. Excuse me? Is it really that difficult to understand that if you don't pay your credit card bills in full each month, you WILL be in deep doodoo? Hmm...

A few posts ago I'd wondered how so many people were able to afford big screen TVs and fancy vacations. I figured the answer was our high mortgage and single income. Maybe it is. But maybe it isn't. Maybe it's people who are living way beyond their means because they can't figure out their credit card bills. And maybe that's why Canadian bankruptcy rates are on the rise. Or mabye it's just the bad economy. There is never one clear reason for anything is there?

If only I could turn back time..

'Being Erica' is my new must-see TV thingie these days. It airs Monday nights on CBC television and I've given up watching 'Little Mosque on the Prairie' and 'Sophie' because of this. Why? Because I don't want to watch too much TV all on one night. Also 'Sophie' is absolutely ghastly these days. Looks like they couldn't find a good writer to stick with for the series. I am not saying 'Being Erica' is much better. But it does seem interesting, sort of, kind of, when you shelve logic away.

Erica is a woman who has made some bad choices that have led her to a very mediocre life - dead end job, pathetic love life, etc. She meets a therapist who is able to send her back in time to revisit some of those choices. Then she returns to the exact same point in her dead-end life but her personality has changed for the better after each visit - she is more confident, more willing to take risks, less crippled by others' opinions of her. This is the part that is a bit sidey. For example she realizes that ever since her professor tore up her poem and ridiculed her in class, she stopped writing poetry and has lost the confidence to speak up for her self. That was 10 years ago though. So she revisits the past, stands up to the prof and comes back as a more confident Erica who then makes some snappy decisions in her crappy present and alters it for the better. But but... if Erica did confront her prof in her past, that would mean 10 years of being more confident. Wouldn't that have led to some different decisions and have changed her present entirely? Or is the time travel a metaphor for effective therapy?

Who cares! It's mildly entertaining and that's enough I guess. If I could revisit some of my decisions, which ones would I choose? Now, that's the part I wonder about every now and then. While there is no 'Dr.Tom' to take me back into the past and help undo my mistakes, I can at least analyse why I did what I did and who I can blame for all my mistakes! ;-)

Quote

"I gave my life to become the person I am right now.
Was it worth it?"

- Richard Bach

Starting afresh

Jan 11. Take a 1 away and it becomes Jan 1. Just pretend it's the first of Jan for a minute and accept my wishes for a wonderful new year! What's that? You don't want to pretend? Well, there's still a good 354 days left in this year. Wishing you happiness and health and all good things for those 354 days...and beyond!

Hope it's a fantastic year for all of us.

Last post this year

A bunch of random things..

Kuttipa can dance now. At least it looks like dancing. He stomps his feet continuously as if dancing to the beat of 'thai thai thai thai'.

He has 10 teeth now. Halfway there to a mouthful

He still cannot say any word except 'Amma'. But Amma refers to just about anything, including Me, his father, food etc.

He is running around the house busy with who knows what, as I type this.

He loves playing with wires, garbage, bottles, shoes...Basically anything that he shouldn't play with but he'd rather play with than his 3 boxfuls of toys.

I am reading a book called "From high heels to bunny slippers" written by a psychologist about women needing to stay at home with their kids. It's simplistic and biased and quite interesting (given my current frame of mind).

Another splurge - we paid $90 for a cleaner to come in yesterday and in four hours she managed to get the kitchen and 1.5 bathrooms clean. And we've almost caught up with the backlog of laundry. So feeling pretty good looking at a somewhat cleaner house.

Did I ever mention how grateful I am that I can sing to Kuttipa? Well, I just did.

I just might have the nicest husband. He has gifted me a ticket to go see 'Chicago' this coming Saturday at Jubliee auditorium.

I still haven't started to catch up with my work as I originally intended. Neither has my husband, I think. On the other hand, we borrowed a few movies from the library last week and have caught up with them nicely. :D

We bought cards for the New Year but were too lazy to write and mail them on time. So instead this evening we'll be emailing out ecards (with a photo of Kuttipa attached). I hope.

Whatever your plans for New Year's eve are, hope you have lot of fun! See you next year!

Twitter

I still don't quite get it but it seems like fun. Although, why bother?

Kuttipa through our new camera

Boxing day mania

We got a camera today from Sears! Our previous camera was kind of broken and we've been planning to buy another for a while now. So it's awesome. And we got it for $250 instead of $300. Granted it's not a boxing day bargain like some of the other things but it's a bargain nevertheless. So I was all excited!

And then we saw all these people walking out from Sears carrying big screen flat panel HDTVs.
"How can so many people afford to buy these? And what are we doing wrong?" My husband wondered.
A flat screen HDTV is not high on my wish list anyway but his question made me think.
"Maybe it's because we travel? We went to India this year and usually go someplace or the other every year?"
"On come on! Everyone travels! Our neighbors go to Disneyland every year."

Hmm, that's true. So what WAS it? I wish the answer was that we have investments all over the place and we're saving aggressively. No, the answer is simpler. We bought a house when the prices were at the very peak and we're probably paying a mortgage that's twice as much as our neighbors. And then we had a baby. And then I stopped working (except a few random hours here and there). And that's why our big splurge in 2005 was a trip to Vegas and LA. And our big splurge this year is a digital camera that costs a fraction of the cost of the trip. I gotta wonder what our splurge next year will be?

I am sounding like a spoilt brat eh? I didn't mean to whine. I know my life is abundant with good things and I am really grateful for all of them. Wouldn't trade any of it for a flat panel HDTV even if I could!

Discovering Disney

I borrowed a CD with classic Disney songs from the library to play to my son. As a result, I've become enamoured with 'Colors of the Wind' from Pocohontas. The lyrics are awesome and the singer's voice is so sweet!

'You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew'

It was on a long weekend 6 years ago and I was driving back home to New Haven after visiting a friend. I chanced upon a banner that announced the local K-mart in Derby was closing and decided to check it out. I found a couple of things that I wanted and stood patiently in an impossibly long line. I looked around and the woman behind me in line smiled at me. I smiled back and said something along the lines of how crazy it was.
"Yes, it's sad isn't it? Now there is one less alternative to Walmart around here." She said.
I was a bit puzzled. but I figured she was one of those people who hated big chain stores. But if that was the case, what was she doing here at a K-mart?
"Oh I love Walmart. If these guys couldn't keep up with the competition, they deserve to go!" said another woman in the line.
"Do you know at what price they keep things cheap?" The first woman asked.
The other lady just shrugged and turned away from the conversation.
"No, I don't but if you don't like chain stores, why are you here?" I asked trying to understand.
"Oh, I am just showing some support for the competition when and how I can."
"Why Walmart specifically?"
"Because they're the biggest and the worst."
She sounded so earnest and intelligent about it that I went back home and googled for info on Walmart. And I found plenty. It is so easy to hate Walmart! There are too many reasons and at some point you just realize its easier to hate it rather than go through the entire list. And so I've pretty much stopped going there.

I wish I could tell you I am supporting local business and going to the Farmer's Market for all my weekly grocery needs. Alas and alack - I am but a hypocrite, an armchair activist with great intentions but little action. So I go to the Real Canadian Superstore every week. I'll admit I've no idea how they measure up in different things against Walmart.

I do have a couple of good reasons for liking them though. And I am not talking just about the low prices (who knows at what cost) and their convenient location (4 min drive from my house).
1.) I like their policy on plastic bags. You need to buy them or if you brought your own, you get rewarded with points for groceries. Although, this doesn't really cover those flimsy bags you put bunches of carrots or beans in. So its really only a halfway measure but its something...
2.) I like most of the PC branded food products. They don't seem to have too many preservatives and stuff and actually taste pretty good. I especially love love love their cheesecake...

And I might add a third reason. I kind of like the commercials with Galen Weston Jr even though I think he looks like a dork. But that's just my opinion. Apparently there are a lot of women who find him attractive. He even has a Facebook fan club!

Another link from NY times

I really liked his closing sentence.
"If we had wanted to preserve the Big Three, we would have bought more of their cars."

How true! You can read the entire article here.

And thats the way the cookie crumbles..

The title of this post was inspired by Kuttipa's crumbling of some cookies I baked yesterday. It was cute to watch. I put him in his high chair and put some cookie pieces on the tray while I fixed his lunch. He ate a piece and decided he didn't want to eat the rest. So he systematically crumbled the remaining pieces till all that remained was brown powder.

He has also learnt how to spit mouthfuls of food and takes great delight in doing it. Mealtimes are often a struggle with us scrambling to find some food that he will actually eat. There is no constant. Yogurt may be a hit today and a dismal failure tomorrow. He used to love cheese but not anymore. And so it goes.

"And how are you?" my friend asked since all I talked about was my son. "I am fine." I really am. Lots of work to catch up on - work work and house work. Instead I watch episode after episode of 'Two and a half men' on TV every night. Or spend hours chasing meaningless links online. But I am fine - for now.

Speaking of links, here is one to an interesting OP-ED in NY times about the auto industry.

Nothing to write about

Or to boast about.
Been okay with keeping on time except for Friday when I canceled going somewhere because I was running an hour late. I was late because of poor time management and not due to any unforeseen circumstances. So it was bad. Other than that though, I've been okay.
Also doing okay on calling up. There are days when I don't call because I am too tired and I compensate for it the next day. It has been good talking and catching up.
I am currently reading Faulkner Fox's book 'Dispatches from a not so perfect life'. I might write more on it after I read it fully. It has been very thought provoking and has made me think and question things about myself and my life. Is that good or bad? Dunno!
I downloaded a trial version of Photoshop Elements and have been having immense fun playing with it. I love the colors and the brush effects and all that. Maybe I should take up painting again? Who has the time though? I am so behind on work and everything else.

Same pic, another take

Playing with an old pic

Thought the end result looked interesting.

Mid week updates

Monday: Late by 10 minutes - to Gymboree, to pick up my husband and to the gym
Tuesday: On time, to storytime at the library and to pick up my husband in the evening.
Wednesday: On time to Gymboree and to the gym.
Doing good on calling up people, but I did the easy ones so far. There are still some easy ones left. It will get interesting next week or so when I start calling people I've not talked to in years...

Moving on to other things, remember my pet peeve about women judging others on their choices? It is especially so when it comes to motherhood. There are so many charged topics like cosleeping, solid foods, preschool, TV watching, swimming classes and so it goes on. For example if you're breastfeeding you can feel smug about doing it and attack the others for depriving their kids of immunity and the potential for higher intelligence. If you're not breastfeeding you can exchange notes on those weirdos who breastfeed for years and years and years. They can't be normal can they? Can they?

There are so many choices when it comes to each issue and there are always women who feel passionately about them one way or another. Which is okay. I feel strongly about certain things too. What is not okay is getting all judgmental about other people's choices and attacking them for it. Why does that happen though? I read this article yesterday by Faulkner Fox and I was really taken with it. I've placed a hold for her book at the library and am looking forward to the read.

Another challenge

Concurrently with my ongoing challenge of being on time, I am going to add another one. I am going to call up 30 different friends or relatives over the next 30 days. I've been terrible at keeping in touch and could use this as a motivation. Will post my progress on this on a weekly basis..

Yeah!

Made it on time. Left at 11:00 am sharp, thanks to a very supportive husband who offered to take care of preparing Kuttipa's lunch. Reached 17th Av at 11:20am. Spent 5 minutes circling around trying to find parking. 11:25 am, I'd paid at the meter and I was there at the salon to meet my friend at 11:30 am. She however showed up at 11:50 am. Not a surprise because I am usually late and I keep her waiting. So I got a chance to see how it is like on the other side - to be the waitee.
Could have maybe been a bit better about returning home earlier though.

Still, progress has been made. I am happy! No appointments tomorrow to be kept. The next one is at Gymboree on Monday morning at 9:15am. Last time, I was fifteen minutes late (for a 45 mintue class). Hope I do better this time.

My 'late' habit

I am not a smoker. Nor am I an alcoholic or a gambler or a drug addict or a swinger. Yet I have vices that are just as deadly although considerably more boring. Like what? Well, I don't exercise enough or eat healthy or...there is a big list here you know and I aint gonna type it all in.

One thing that has irked me a lot in recent times is my seeming inability to get anywhere and I mean ANYWHERE on time. Its nothing new. I've been that way for as long as I remember. I used to miss my school bus almost every day when I was young, till my father decided to start urging me everyday. Have you packed your bag? Is everything there? Are you dressed for school? Why don't you wear your shoes and then read your book? If you're ready, why don't you leave right now when there is still 5 minutes to spare?

With him urging me, I made it on time more often but then one day I had to leave home and go to college. I was back to my late ways again. Classes started at 8:30am and my department was a good 20 minute walk away from my hostel. At 8:15 am though, I'd still be in the mess, eating breakfast. And then at 8:20 I'd make a mad dash to my department and arrive at 8:35 am or 8:40 am out of breath and slightly sheepish. On some days one of my seniors with a bike would take pity on me and offer me a ride and then I'd be on time. Then I got a bike. Did that change anything? Nope, what happened was I started leaving at 8:25 am or even 8:30 am and was still late!

Then I came to the US for grad school and of course I was late there too. My department was located down the hill downtown and I lived up the hill, near the main campus. A good 20 minute walk here too. Most mornings when I had a class, you could see me running down the hill maniacally desperately trying to make it on time. Some days a kindly bus driver would stop on seeing me even though there was no stop there and give me a (free) ride downtown. Then I got an advisor who threw tantrums when any of us were late. That made me behave for a while. Only where he was concerned though. Other times, I was still late.

My friend had a theory that people were late only when they hated being somewhere. If you're looking forward to being somewhere and doing something, you wouldn't be late would you? It made a lot of sense and made me question myself and my motives. In the end though, it didn't make a difference. I was late everywhere regardless of whether I wanted to be there or not. It could be a meeting at work or a dinner at someones house.

Needless to say I was late every morning at my jobs too. My job in the US and my job here in Calgary. Not a whole lot late, but typically 5 or 10 minutes and I always made up for it in the evenings.

So what has changed? Why am I suddenly irked by my lifelong vice? Because I've taken it to a new dimension after Kuttipa's birth. I could dash out the door previously and still make it within 5 or 10 minutes of the original time. Now dashing out the door is impossible. I've to make sure his sippy cup is packed and there is a snack packed just in case and that he has socks on and perhaps a jacket if needed. I need to plan well in advance and get my act together if I need to be on time anywhere. But I am not doing that. I am still behaving like I can dash out the door 5 minutes before the appointment. What's the result? I am REALLY late - 1/2 hour or sometimes an hour late. Late to doctor appointments, late to library classes, late to meet friends, late late late everywhere, everytime.

A couple of days ago I stumbled onto this post by Steve Pavlina. I'd never heard of this guy before but am starting to go through his site. I like his writing style - its sensible yet inspiring. At least the stuff I've read thus far anyway. So inspired by this article, I've decided to do a 30 day challenge of being on time. It actually started today but today went bad. I was supposed to meet a friend at an indoor play area at 2:00pm. It was a 25 minute drive and I left home at 1:30 even though I intended to leave at 1:15pm. Construction delays and some wrong directions from google maps set me back and I reached at 2:15pm. I would have been on time had I left at 1:15 like I intended. But there are still 29 days left. I am meeting a friend at 11:30am tomorrow. Let's see how that goes...I'll write again tomorrow night.

I've been beating myself up for missing the deadline to the Vibe 98.5 Cute kid contest. Sure, there are like 2400 kids entered in it but still Kuttipa would have had a chance, right? I am not sure which photo I'd have entered though. Probably the one below, taken a few months ago when it was still summer.